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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  June 29, 2011 12:50am-1:50am PDT

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[ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] representative anthony weiner. [ cheers and applause ] >> good afternoon. i'm anthony weiner. [ clears throat ] first off, i want to make it clear that i made some terrible mistakes that have hurt those who i care about most. so i'd like to take this time to apologize to my family, my constituents and most importantly, my staff. [ laughter ] as you know, i have a huge staff --
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[ laughter ] it's one of the biggest in all of new york. [ light laughter ] it's hard to handle a staff that big, but i do it every day. i love my staff. [ light laughter ] now, obviously, the events of the past week have put a huge strain on my staff. if i've rubbed my staff the wrong way, i'm sorry. [ laughter ] for the past couple of days, i've been jerking my staff around, and as a result, i've got a huge mess on my hands. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but i can proudly say that throughout this whole ordeal, my staff has stood firm. i've got a rock solid staff. and that's why i've decided that i will not be resigning. i said it once, i'll say it 1,000 times. i simply cannot let go of my staff. [ laughter ] it's hard. [ laughter ] it's so -- hard.
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and as the head of my staff, i'm the most sensitive. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so, please, accept my apology. now, if you'll excuse me, i have to go take a staff photo. [ laughter ] thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ]
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captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! hello! that's what i'm talking about. that's a great crowd. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. well, you guys, weiner-gate is still going on. [ scattered cheers ] i still find it hard to believe that a crotch photo was tweeted out by a guy named anthony weiner. [ laughter ] if you think that's bad, you should see the picture sent by his aide, gary butthole. [ laughter ] he's not admitting to anything yet. >> steve: but-thole >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: it's but-thole. [ laughter ] you read that wrong. >> jimmy: i got a pizza delivery for gary butthole. >> steve: it's but-thole! >> jimmy: i'm sorry. great butthole. they spelled it wrong, sorry. [ laughter ]
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but-thole. i'm looking for harry pairatestes. is he a greek -- [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. now get out of here! >> jimmy: harry. >> steve: no, his first name's harry, like harold or -- and his last name's pairatestes. [ laughter ] it's a greek name! >> jimmy: they're all stored up in there in his head. i don't know how he comes up with all of them. you guys, i'm so excited. we have larry king and two kardashian sisters on the show tonight! [ applause ] or -- or as larry put it, "i like those odds." [ laughter ] get this, you guys. there's talk that snoop dogg is launching a new talent show similar to "american idol," but with his own twist. see, i don't know. if i wanted to watch a stoned version of "american idol," i just watched the old version with paula. [ laughter ] right? [ as abdul ] "i think you're very talented. you have really -- a lot to offer." [ laughter ]
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i miss the good old days. hey, check this out. a new poll shows that president obama is losing the popularity boost he got after osama bin laden's death. or as gadhafi's putting it -- [ as gadhafi ] "uh-oh. [ laughter ] not good for me, bro! hey, can i hide out in your cave. what's going down, dude?" >> steve: "hey, my man." >> jimmy: "what's up, my man?" here's some celebrity news, you guys. i just saw that justin bieber recently got both of his ears pierced. i was like, "wow. why am i reading 'seventeen' magazine. [ laughter ] i'm in my 30s." it's a good magazine. >> steve: a good magazine. >> jimmy: that's why. >> steve: "tiger beat" is great, too. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: love it. >> jimmy: listen to this. lawmakers here in new york have proposed a new program to teach teenagers about the dangers of sexting. seriously. how about a program to teach new york lawmakers about the dangers of sexting. mr. weiner? [ laughter ] >> steve: come on!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "teach me?!" some sports news, there are reports that if the lockout continues the nfl may shorten its season to eight games. or as the detroit lions will put it, "hey, we only lost eight games this year!" [ laughter ] i love detroit. and finally, i read that president obama's approval rating among college students is down 10 points since 2008. of course, if he wants to get it up, he should talk to anthony weiner. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! hey, guys, just want to say "thank you notes" is available right now. it's the number two "new york times" best-seller right now! [ cheers and applause ] taking over the world! i love it. it's only $1.50 in stores,
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certain stores. hey, we got a big show tonight, you guys. one of the best ever. a broadcasting legend, larry king is on the program tonight! [ cheers and applause ] we also got two of the hottest girls out there. we love them so much. kourtney and khloe kardashian are dropping by! [ cheers and applause ] kardashian-odom. and we've got some great music. man, oh, man. every time they come on the show, they've knocked it out of the park. right? they're one of the best bands out there, whether it be yim yames or jim james. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: who was he -- we don't know. >> steve: he was yim yames with us. >> jimmy: he was yim yames with you guys. he might be jim james tonight. but his band my morning jacket, all of the guys are here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] my morning jacket. they are the most talented guys. it's going to blow your pants off. you'll be walking around with no pants on going, well -- it's 90 degrees out. >> steve: why are you just wearing a jacket? >> jimmy: because i just saw my morning jacket, and so, they blew my pants off. >> steve: like porky pig. you're porky piggin' it.
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>> jimmy: exactly. donald duckin' it, dude. [ laughter ] >> steve: no pants, just a shirt. >> jimmy: two cartoon characters with no pants. and shirts. >> steve: i'm thinking of a cartoon character, but i don't want him to wear any pants. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow, this is for children. >> steve: just trust me. >> steve: i'm going to give mickey three fingers. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: walt, just go to sleep. >> steve: all right, wake me up when my head is unfrozen. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. you're right. you've got a good point. hey, you guys, right now, it's time to announce this week's "late night" hashtag. okay, here's what we do. now, before the show i went on twitter, i started hashtag called "my pet is weird." for example, i tweeted out "my dog jeff used to like it when we put glasses and a hat on him. and he'd growl when we tried to take them off. it's true. he's the coolest dog in the world. we love him so much, but we would put like hats and stuff, and sunglasses on him and stuff, and if you'd try to take them away, he'd be like -- [ growling ]
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and sometimes when he was sitting down, we put reading glasses on him and a newspaper under him, and he'd just sit there, like -- we'd feed him and stuff. >> steve: jeff. >> jimmy: my dog jeff. so, anyways, this is where you guys come in. go on twitter. tweet out something weird or crazy that your pet does and be sure to include the hashtag "my pet is weird." i'll look at all them and we'll put some of my favorites on the show tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] so tune in, you might see your tweet on the show. it will be fun, you guys. but now, it's time, ladies and gentlemen, to take a look at the stories making headlines today, and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of sarah palin's one nation bus tour. [ laughter ] she's riding around the country in her giant bus visiting historic landmarks causing a lot of media buzz. let's take a look at the pros and cons. here we go.
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pro -- sarah says the one nation tour is her chance to remind americans to celebrate all the things we have in common. con, like not voting for her in 2008. [ laughter ] none of us did, yeah. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: we have that in common. pro, she's bringing the whole family along for the ride. con, including bristol, piper, track, trigg, tripp, triscuit, trombone, tron, and triaminic. [ cheers and applause ] trojan's not going. >> steve: no. that's why they got triaminic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pro -- there's no itinerary, so no one's quite sure where sarah's going. con, it's just like one of her speeches. [ laughter ] just say "you betcha" and we can move on. [ applause ] pro -- sarah is traveling around the country on a custom-made bus. look at this thing. con -- anthony weiner's doing the same thing. look at this thing right here.
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there you go. [ cheers and applause ] i find that pixelated. >> steve: when he does, that seems like a big mistake. >> jimmy: yeah, a big mistake. he shouldn't do that. >> steve: well, i guess he tweeted that stuff out. >> jimmy: i know. pro, the bus symbolizes sarah's political beliefs. con, it won't turn left. [ laughter ] sounds dangerous. >> steve: won't do it. it will ruin the country. >> jimmy: pro, while in new york city, sarah ate at a famous italian pizzeria with donald trump. con, there was an awkward moment and accidentally sucked up trump's entire hairdo, "lady and the tramp" style. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ this is a night what a beaufitul night ♪ >> jimmy: pro, sarah plans on visiting mt. rushmore. con, or as she calls it -- moneyface mountain. [ laughter ] that's not what it's called. >> steve: no! let's see, well -- who's that one with the glasses. >> jimmy: he's on money. >> steve: he's money, genius. >> jimmy: pro, palin's riding shotgun.
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con, while holding a shotgun. [ laughter ] that's how she rolls. pro, sarah has a gps so they don't get lost. con, even the gps lady uses completely made up words. [ light laughter ] >> in .3 miles attemptemplate to u-turnify. [ laughter ] recalculalazating. >> jimmy: confusing. and finally, pro, after a minor screw up in boston, sarah says she knows the real story of paul revere. con, he's the american patriot that did it like this, he did it like that, he did it with a wiffle ball bat, oh! >> steve: oh, yeah! >> jimmy: that's the "pros and cons." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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there's also the new florentine topped house sirloin, provolone stuffed meatballs and more. stacked, stuffed and loaded with the flavor you love. stacked, stuffed and topped! i like things smooshed. we'll work on that. [ male announcer ] only at applebee's. open 'til midnight or later. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening interviewed over 60,000 people during his legendary broadcasting career. many as host of "larry king live" on cnn, which was the first worldwide call-in talk show. he's currently performing stand-up comedy on a nation-wide tour. and has a great new book titled "truth be told."
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ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome for larry king, you guys! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: larry king, thank you for visiting our program. >> i'm so happy, 2 1/2 years finally on the air. >> jimmy: i know, exactly, right. >> as i said to you earlier, you're one of my favorite guests. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. because we were talking in the green room. you were one of the few comics without hang-ups. >> jimmy: i don't -- >> yeah. you're normal. >> jimmy: i guess i'm kind of normal. yeah, yeah. that's why i don't go to therapy. i don't want to find out what is wrong with me. there must be something if there. you know? >> you're a special guy. we almost have the same tie. >> jimmy: it is. i got kind of a scotch -- [ laughter ]
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we should go to a bar after this. get a drink. it would be awesome. we're both brooklyn boys, too. >> you bet. bensonhurst. >> jimmy: bay ridge, i was born in bay ridge. >> what high school did you go to? >> jimmy: i moved out when i was 1. [ laughter ] my birth certificate says brooklyn. my parents are both brooklynites. and brooklyn people, don't they need brooklyn people? aren't you magnets? >> it's something -- it's something that's in the air. it's something about brooklyn. [ scattered cheers ] in other words, for example, i left brooklyn in 1957, but brooklyn never left me. now, i left it, but it never left me. i breathe brooklyn. i am brooklyn. >> jimmy: what do you think about basketball coming to brooklyn? [ cheers and applause ] >> i just did a promo for the nets. >> jimmy: did you? >> the barkley arena. they're coming. it's going to be great. that's where the dodgers were supposed to go. that atlantic avenue. >> jimmy: did you ever go to evetts field? >> sure, what are you kidding. i was at jackie robinson's first game. >> jimmy: where you really? >> i used to run up and sit in the bleachers for 50 cents, watch games.
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oh, there was nothing like that. >> jimmy: i don't think you can get anything at a baseball game for 50 cents. [ laughter ] anything. not even a key chain. nothing. a lot of these fun things in this book. i love this book. "truth be told" is what it is. and it's a bunch of fun, like, stories, and little things that you're learned and i guess just like things -- >> people i met. it discusses my last year on the air. my closing night in december when i left broadcasting. i now do four specials a year. but, you know, it was time. you know, as colin powell said "when the train gets to the last stop, get off." >> jimmy: we do miss you, because you were a staple to television. you're a legend. you're phenomenal. we love you. [ cheers and applause ] the book has some great, great stories in here. in know last time, we talked about don rickles. you were friends with him. you had such a funny story about him. >> don is -- >> jimmy: what were you shooting -- he was shooting a war movie, wasn't he? >> no, no.
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"warriors." "kelly's heroes," "kelly's warriors," it was with clint eastwood, and they had a scene where the two of them were running and shrapnel went off. right? and they're supposed to blow them up, and there's a -- this german shrapnel expert way ahead. like big shrapnel. it was shrapnel. he's supposed to set it off after they pass it, and they edited film to bring them together. eastwood is running like it's a race. right? they're supposed to run together. he's 100 yards ahead of don rickles, so they blow don up. [ laughter ] they blow don up. now it's yugoslavia. they're in yugoslavia. don sent me letter from yugoslavia, in which he wrote, "i don't want to say it's boring here, but i'm writing to you." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a funny one. >> "i don't want to say it's a poor country, but tito has the car." >> jimmy: he has the car. i love that. >> then they take him to england to -- of course, they can't do it in yugoslavia.
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so in england, he's got doctors that are going to take the shrapnel out. they're given them the anesthesia, he's lying there, the doctor leans over and says, "i'm going to be in vegas, august 3rd." >> jimmy: "whatever you need. help me." >> "take the shrapnel out." >> jimmy: there's another great story i love in here. and a great letter from him, but frank sinatra, whom i'm a giant fan of frank sinatra. >> i was honored to call him friend. i did the last televison interview with him. he wrote me a letter, we have reprinted in the book. >> jimmy: you were trying to have him on -- it's very hard to get -- >> jackie gleason was kind of like my mentor, he came down on miami beach. i started on miami beach, i was like 27 years old. i came down on the train when jackie took the train from new york to miami. it was a great trip. and i emceed the dinner welcoming him. and we became friends. he used to call my radio show. come on my television show. and one night, we're at his house, and he would get these things in his mind.
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he said, "what's impossible? what's impossible in your profession as a talk show host?" i said, "okay. frank sinatra to come on my local radio show for three hours." he said, "you got him." "when?" he said, "when does he work? when does he not work?" at the fontainbleu hotel? i said, "he's off monday nights." he said, "okay, pal, you got him." i said, "you sure?" "pal, you got him!" i go on the air that night, mind you it's a local radio show. i said, "monday night frank sinatra will be here." people are calling in. >> jimmy: larry king lost his mind. >> he's the biggest star in the world, right? now the station management calls me in. "are you sure? because we called, he ain't returning any calls. we're taking a big ad in the paper." i said, "jackie said he's coming." now it's the monday night. nobody went home. the secretary stayed all day. i'm on at 9:00. at five to 9:00, the limo pulls up. out steps frank sinatra. frank sinatra, with his p.r. guy, jim mahony, they walk up the stairs.
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sinatra says, "who's larry king?" [ laughter ] "me." he said, "okay. let's go." jim mahony whispers to me, "i don't know how you got him. he says, "he pays me money not to do this." we go into the studio and i decided something. i learned something in broadcasting. never lie, when you're on the air. you could have done one of those phony things. "my old friend, frank sinatra, my pal." i said, "good evening, welcome to another edition of 'the larry king show,' my guest is frank sinatra. why are you here? why are you here?" and he said, i can still remember -- he said, "four, five years ago i was working in a town & country club nightclub in new york and i had laryngitis. it was closing night. i couldn't sing. and i called jackie up. jackie had the hottest snow television. i said, "would you come over and do a show? we got a whole crowd here. i can't make good. i can't sing." and jackie came over and did an hour. i walk him out to his limo lean in, i said, 'jackie, thanks. i owe you one.
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i owe you one.' i get to miami, i check into the hotel. there's a message, 'call jackie gleason.' i call jackie. answer the phone. 'hello?' i said, 'jackie, it's frank.' and jackie said, this is the one.'" >> jimmy: is that right? [ laughter ] >> and he did it. now, end of the story. frank says to me at the end of the show, he says, "thanks, kid. i didn't think i would do this." three hours he did. >> jimmy: that's amazing. >> he says, "you want to come see me?" i says, "okay." "when are you off?" i said, "friday." "friday night, you go it, pal. you're ring side. bring a date." whoa! now, i got a list of girls. [ laughter ] i know -- [ applause ] that whoever i call, "want to go see frank sinatra?" >> jimmy: you got it. yeah, yeah. >> it's going to be a good night! [ laughter ] i -- i invited one of the girls. very nice girl, and we go on and see frank sinatra. now, remember, i'm poor. we're not making a lot of money.
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>> jimmy: local radio. >> so i got $20 to my name. so i parcel it out. let's see, he's picking up the check. $15 for the tip. $5 to get the car. okay. $20. i don't get paid until monday, but i'll survive. now, in the middle of the show frank comes out, used to do this in the middle of show, and he talks to the audience. he had a little tea, and he talked to the audience. in the middle, we're having dessert. in the middle he says, "by the way, a couple nights ago, i did a radio show with this kid larry king. he's really good and he's here tonight. larry, take a bow." and i -- i was eating cherries jubilee. [ laughter ] which is ice cream with cherries all over. i stand up, hit the table. the cherries fall all over me. cherries dripping down my face, ice cream going down my suit. everybody -- the band collapses, sinatra's laughing. no. i wipe it all off. i tip the waiter. driving home i have no money and
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this girl says, "want to come over?" "yeah." then she says, "why don't we stop and get some coffee. i don't have any in the house." i pull into the royal -- >> jimmy: you got no money. >> i got no money. i run into royal castle. i run back out. i said, "they can't change $100 bill." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: and you had a good night? >> good night! >> jimmy: after the break, larry king are doing some fun stuff, come on back. stick around you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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[ woman ] sam begged and pleaded... so i sent him to camp. we'd earned lots of points with our new citi thankyou card... and i put them to good use. he told me about his bunkmates, and how he signs up for every activity. ♪ he even hangs out with the camp director. just like that. [ male announcer ] the new citi thankyou premier card gives you more ways to earn points. what's your story? citi can help you write it. ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: hey everybody, we are back with the great larry king and his new book "truth be told." it's a great summertime read. you've got to pick it up. larry, we all miss you on "larry king live." i was just wondering, would you mind -- could you take a couple calls? [ light laughter ] >> okay. you want to do, like -- my old show? >> jimmy: yeah. >> all right. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> oh, man. i'm going to cry, man. >> jimmy: don't cry. >> crying. >> jimmy: how is this -- 'cause you've seen this parody before, but -- >> no, not like this. >> jimmy: this is pretty good, right? >> this is pretty -- you got the whole set. you got this siding -- i didn't have audiences like this. >> jimmy: we do have a full audience. it's fun. by the way, the background -- that was -- was that always in color? >> yeah. no, it began it was black and white. then they colored it about three, four years after we started. >> jimmy: any reason for the color? >> they had color. [ laughter ] i guess, jimmy. >> jimmy: very good. is this cool -- welcome to "larry king live." larry's going to take some calls right now. let's take a call. tuscaloosa. what's your name and where you from? go ahead with your question, please. >> caller: hello, this is david from la grange, texas. i was wondering when did you first start using your suspenders?
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[ laughter ] >> using my -- it was the year after my heart surgery, and my ex-wife said to me, "you lost a lot of weight. why don't you try braces?" so, i wore them once and four people called in and said, "you look good." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's all you need. >> told a jew from brooklyn how they look. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: let's take another call. caller number two, what is your name and where are you from? >> caller: scott from brooklyn, new york. >> jimmy: hey, all right. brooklyn. there you go. [ applause ] what's your question, please? >> caller: what is the most awkward moment on tv and how did you handle the situation? >> most -- that was a very good question. awkward. hmm. awkward. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't count this. you can't count this. >> mel brooks.
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>> jimmy: really? >> yeah. in the middle of an interview, he said to me, "do you know how jews die?" [ laughter ] i said, "no." he said, "they die sitting in miami beach singing 'dancing in the dark.'" then he started singing "dancing in the dark" and gets to that one line -- [sings] where the schools are we're dancing in the dark. and he jumped on the top of the stage, and collapsed. [ laughter ] that was -- that was awkward. >> jimmy: yeah, that was awkward. yeah. i think mel brooks just died. that's good. we have time for one more question. here you go. what is your name and where are you from? >> caller: hi, larry. lindsay from augusta, georgia. >> wow. hi. >> caller: hi. >> jimmy: watch it, larry. watch it, larry. >> oh, by the way, i'm in vegas saturday night. [ laughter ] i'm opening in vegas saturday night. >> jimmy: you are a pro. yeah, yeah. >> at the mirage. >> jimmy: at the mirage. >> my wife, shawn, is opening for me. you ought to have her on this show. she ought to sing on this show. >> jimmy: all right. done. i'd do it. >> i'm just mentioning it to you. >> jimmy: all right. >> so, what is your question? >> caller: i want to know -- do
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you have bieber fever? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: do you have bieber fever? >> ah -- >> jimmy: find out if you go vegas. >> i don't know. call anthony weiner. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: one of the all-time greats! larry king right here. [ applause ] kourtney kardashian and khloe kardashian come out and join us next! ♪ host: could switching to geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? host: do dogs chase cats? ♪ 70's era music sfx: tires squealing ♪ 70's era music sfx: tires squealing vo: geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my next guests are the stars of the reality series "keeping up with the kardashians," which has its sixth season premiere sunday on e! please welcome kourtney kardashian and khloe kardashian-odom! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. i haven't seen you -- haven't seen -- khloe since back in, like, two years ago. >> i know. did you miss me? >> jimmy: yeah. i really did. i missed you.
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yeah, i did. >> that was so sincere. yeah. >> jimmy: so was did you miss me? that was sincere too. yeah. [ laughter ] how's kim? where's kim? >> oh, we didn't want her on this trip. [ laughter ] >> she's in london. >> jimmy: she's in london, yeah. holding that big ring that she has on? that crazy ring. that is a nuts -- that is a nuts, crazy size ring. look at this. >> let's see it. >> jimmy: good god. >> that is pretty nuts. >> jimmy: hey, what is this again? its like $25 million bazillion? >> mm-hm. >> that is exactly what it is. >> on the dot. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> to the cent. >> jimmy: i'm going to pray there. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you guys fighting it out for who's going to be maid of honor? >> i'm the maid and khloe's the matron. >> but i hate -- >> someone that's married so you have to be the matron. i'm like "that is the oldest, ugliest name i've ever heard." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't want to be the matron. >> so why am i the matron? like that is one the ugliest dress -- and you guys always do that to me too. >> well, kim and i were both the maids of honor for khloe's. because i'm the nice sister, so i let everyone do things in equal.
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and i'm now a matron. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know, i think maybe matron might be better than maid. >> i think i would rather be the maid. >> jimmy: maids have been getting bad raps recently. [ laughter ] >> yeah. whatever. [ as schwarzenegger ] >> jimmy: mildred, get over here now! [ laughter ] mildred! get over here now! oh, hello, maria. just kidding. >> that's me. >> that's you. the maid. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> i think that one went over kourtney's head. >> i got it, khloe. >> don't worry. >> jimmy: aww, see, sisterly love. i love it. >> she's so nice to me. >> jimmy: sixth season, you guys. >> season six. >> jimmy: major. that's major. when you get that many seasons, people start to kind of know you more. give you opinions on the street. and they go -- because you feel like part of the family. >> oh, my god. >> they do, all the time. >> jimmy: what advice do they yell, new york city, people just yell stuff at you? >> i live in l.a., and i -- i guess people feel the need to -- i was at bed, bath & beyond.
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this person is like "khloe!" and i thought i knew the girl since she was so convincing with the khloe. and i was like -- i was like, hey! and she was like "girl, all you got to do is hold your legs up when he [ bleep ] inside you and then and you're going to have is a baby!" [ applause ] first of all -- people don't -- >> jimmy: has larry left the building? i don't want larry having a heart attack. get larry out of the -- >> people don't quite say that to me, but -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? i get that all the time. and i don't know why. they -- i can go to bed, bath, and beyond either. >> i have never been back to that bed, bath, and beyond again, because i was mortified. because she screamed it from across the room, too. so, people feel like they can give me -- sex advice all the time, because people think i'm desperate for a baby, which i'm not, but -- >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> the sex positions have got to stop. i can't handle it. >> jimmy: that is beyond.
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that is beyond. i mean, bed, bath and -- that's just beyond. [ laughter ] that is absolutely beyond. but -- this season, it's about to come on. do you shoot it, like, is it happening now? is this part of the season? no. it's done? >> we're pretty much done. >> you're on camera right now -- >> jimmy: yes. i can retire! >> yes. i swear i was at a wedding last weekend and someone came up to me and was "am i going to be on your show? are we filming right now?" >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i was i was like "do you see any cameras around?" no. >> jimmy: people don't know how it works. maybe you have the hidden -- maybe your earrings are -- >> hidden cameras. >> jimmy: hidden cameras. >> the robotic people in my eyes are cameras. >> jimmy: you already know what's going to happen this season? >> jimmy: i heard a rumor there's two weddings this season? >> there are. you're right. >> jimmy: kim is un. >> no. she hasn't been married yet. where are -- who's got the tape? >> we're done filming. >> jimmy: no, you said you haven't been done filming, you have some surprises. >> we're done filming. but the camera's on call. >> jimmy: kim's not even un? >> jimmy: who's deux or un? are you un? >> you won't -- you don't know.
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>> you're going to have to watch the season. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] >> there's no ring, honey. >> jimmy: maybe an indentation there. maybe there was a ring on there, perhaps. >> there's a ring here. >> jimmy: ah! >> ah! >> jimmy: i don't know what that means. [ laughter ] trying to -- kicking me a little spoiler alert. i want to set up a clip here. first of all, how's your mom? >> fabulous. >> she's amazing. she was here with me last time. >> jimmy: christmas, yeah. and we love her. she's awesome. >> yeah. >> jimmy: she doing good? >> who doesn't love her? >> jimmy: please, tell her i said hello. >> oh, we will. >> jimmy: this clip, i stick up for her, you guys are ganging up on her. >> well, you have to see the whole thing. but stick -- >> oh, come on. oh, god. stick up for her. she's not going to do any sexual favors for you, just because you're sticking up for her. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: has larry left the building? can we make sure that he's gone? no. i'm going to stick up for her, because she's not here. so that's why. >> oh, got it. >> jimmy: so let's just see the clip before it gets more awkward. here we go. [ laughter ] >> i don't care who's sleeping. >> you guys are unprofessional. you're rude.
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you made me look bad. you made you look bad. those people wanted for you for one hour. >> first of all, all you care about is money. >> that's not all i care about. i care about your future. >> but mom -- >> and building something for you guys so when you're my age you don't have to work this hard. >> mom, when was the last time that you think i've had a day off? >> i -- >> that's your choice. >> you don't make family time. we used to have family dinners. that's our point. how much money is it worth? life is about memories and experiences. >> you choose showing me, teaching me a lesson. >> khloe. >> a real manager would set -- >> a real manager wouldn't give a [ bleep ] about half the things i do for you! >> jimmy: yeah! eternal crush! >> you're on her side? kourtney and khloe, everybody! "keeping up with the kardashians " sunday's, 10 p.m. on e! my morning jacket performs next, come on back, everybody. ♪ ♪
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gdenny's new tourys of america menu. 50 star cuisine. the new tour of america menu. starting at $4.99. only at denny's. america's diner is always open. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests just released their sixth album "circuital." and here today to play the title track. please welcome back to the show, one of our favorites, my morning jacket! ♪ ♪ spinning out gracefully going nowhere
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quickly ♪ ♪ i am older day by day still going back to my childhood way ♪ ♪ ooh ♪ ♪ circuital round and round patiently getting lost ♪ ♪ by the guide
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and i'm all worked up over nothing ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ circuits all in and out connect my body deep into the ground ♪ ♪ circuits
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connect the earth to the moon and link our ♪ ♪ heavenly bodies not a moment too soon ♪ ♪ ♪ well you can fling open the windows or you can board them up ♪ ♪ satan's jeweled crown or christ's humble cup you think you'll find yourself out there out in the lion's den ♪
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♪ in some bloody battle over belief systems ♪ ♪ or disappear into the vacuum ♪ ♪ total neutrality where you can't lose nothing ♪ but nothing can be gained ♪ ♪ well anyway you cut it we're just spinning around ♪ ♪ out on the circuits over the hallowed grounds out on the circuits ♪ ♪ over the hallowed grounds ending up in
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the same place that we started out ♪ ♪ right back in the same place right back in the same place ♪ that we started out ♪ ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ohh ♪ ohh ♪ ohh ♪ ohh
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♪ ohh [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! my morning jacket! thank you, brothers. pick it up, their album "circuital." go to latenightwithjimmyfallon.com for an exclusive bonus preformance. we'll be right back, you guys. come on back! ♪ whoa!! the really big chicken sandwich combo is back!
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and it's as big as ever. i'm gonna jump it! you can't jump that! it's two chicken patties, topped with bacon, and melting cheese plus seasoned curly fries and a drink for only $3.99! what do you know? your only a baby! vrrrrooooom! i'm t-rex and i came out of extinction cuz i heard the combo was back! and that got a million hits? yep. why do we even make commercials anymore? 'cause you like to be in them.
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